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‘My sexual harassment experience’



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‘My sexual harassment experience’

By John Akubo

Founder of Wanda Adu Foundation (WAF), 37-year-old Wanda Ebe, at the launch of the Men Against Rape movement in Abuja recently, recounts how she was sexually abused at home by a nanny in her childhood and a medical doctor when she needed medical attention, as well as in the university by lecturers and cultists. She spoke on how she was able to recover from the traumatic experiences at 32, adding that the non-governmental organisation aims to give marginalised and vulnerable young women and girls a voice.
She spoke with JOHN AKUBO.

Nasty experience with a nanny

It is strange when people say that a woman cannot sexually abuse a child. I was a victim and I am a survivor of sexual abuse. I gave a nanny oral sex for as many years as I can remember.

Even when she was on her period, she still compelled me to give her oral sex. My parents were not around, I was not the only child, but we were all very young. My mum was in schooling. So anytime she was in school, my father would go to work and we were left in the care of this nanny and when she wanted to do that to me, she would send my two younger ones out to play and forced me to give her oral sex.

No child likes sexual abuse and I also could not report her. At a point when I was six years old, I remembered that morning, she called me to engage in the same thing, she was in her period and I revolted. I was so bold because my mum was on holiday and she only stepped out to make her hair. The nanny just felt she had a little opportunity to bully me and sexually assault me again.

I actually told her I wasn’t going to do it because my mum was around and I was going to report to my mother when she came back from where she went to plait her hair. She threatened me again, saying she was going to kill me and I told her I was ready to die.

She went ahead and poured hot water on me. I still have the scars on my face. It is black, looks like a mark, but the one on my body was so bad. I did not go to school for one year when that happened and I was six years old. I cannot forget it.

After that, she had to cook up a story, because she didn’t want me to say what exactly happened and how I ended up getting burnt with hot water.

I also couldn’t say anything again, as the pain from the burns was enough for me to keep mute about what happened. So, I lived with the hurt, I lived with that experience and it really affected me for a long time.

Sexual harassment at the university

Even when I got into the university, I was still sexually harassed many times by lecturers, fellow students, and cultists. I had a gunpoint encounter with a very notorious cultist in my university then. I was so frustrated at that point that I was ready to give up everything.

He put a gun on my head about 7 pm that day just outside the gate of the campus and dragged me to his car and asked that I should take off my clothes, that he wanted to have me. At that time, I had never had any penetration, because I was a virgin. I was frustrated already because my lecturers were harassing me.

So, I told him to shoot me if you need to shoot me, to help me die because I am frustrated. ‘I have bottled up so much and can even tell anybody everything that I have been through. So, I would be happy if you help me die.’ And I meant my words.

My Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA) had dropped because of sexual harassment experiences from several lecturers that I did not give what they wanted. So, they just recorded that I was absent from lectures, and that really affected me and also made me depressed.

He (the cultist) was shocked at what I wanted him to do, ‘kill me and rape my corpse. That is the only time I will let you have your way.’ So, he said, ‘I will let you go tonight’ and a few weeks after that incident, I reported quietly and preferred to go anonymous, because he was going to go after me. And he was expelled from school.

Another sexual harassment experience from a medical doctor

After the encounter with the student, I thought I was free. At 300-level, I had to go to an appendectomy. One of the doctors I met in the hospital was particularly interested in my case, he followed me all the way to school. You know, he acted like he was going to follow up after I was discharged from surgery.

I kind of trusted him. As a young person, I was also naive and thought that a doctor will not harass me sexually. I also trusted him because his elder brother was a friend to my father, so I thought he meant well to me.

When I was supposed to go back for my final check-up, he actually told me not to border going to the hospital, because it was a general hospital in Makurdi at that time and it was always very busy and crowded, really very rowdy. So, I was happy that I didn’t have to spend the whole day just for a checkup.

He came to school, picked me up, and then I thought he was heading to the hospital and I was going to have the express service, but he drove to town. I questioned why he wasn’t going to the hospital and he said, ‘relax, I am on call today and the hospital is really full and so if I go to the hospital, I am very sure there are several emergency cases waiting for me. I will take care of you quickly at my house and bring you back to school.’

I trusted him, we got to his house and he locked the door. I was afraid and asked why he locked the door, but he said he lived alone and didn’t want anybody to just barge in when I take off my dress for him to see the incision. So, I felt relaxed.

He went inside his bedroom and he actually put on a condom and he called me into his room. I didn’t know he was ready for me, so I went into his room and once I entered his room, the bathroom door was just inside his room, he just came out and he locked his room door and took out the key.

I panicked because I already had several ordeals, so I went to the door and tried to force it open in my own little way, but he really beat me up and manhandled me that day. I was not really having strength, as I was just recovering from surgery and after we struggled, he pushed me down and he had his way.

My dress was stained with blood and I was crying and he left me there and went back to the hospital. It wasn’t at night, so he knew that I would not be able to walk back to school with my dress stained because boys will always shame girls when they are in their period and they are stained.

So, I had to stay there until it was a bit dark and I went back to school. I didn’t talk to anybody about it. I was very miserable and had several sexual abuse experiences like that.

How I got the healing from sexual abuses
I managed to open up about all my experiences when I was 32. A motivational speaker broke me down when I talked about it. I did not know I was helping to come off from all of those nasty experiences and so when I talked to him about it, I cried, but I felt lighter.

Then I talked to several other people, which helped me. That was how the journey of my healing process started. I got to a point when I talk about it I wouldn’t be so emotional again. I will cry, so I knew that, okay, I have some strength, and that motivated me to fight for several other victims of sexual abuse.

That is what pushed me to launch Wada Adu Foundation and I am excited to work with some very wonderful people and I am very happy about this movement- ‘Men Against Rape-’ because many times, men have let women and children down and in the course of my work, we have recorded even cases of incest, family sexual abuse, fathers abusing infants, toddlers, and children

If your father cannot protect you, then we have a problem. But if we have a movement like ‘Men Against Rape,’ that means every child is a child and that also means that every woman is your wife or your sister. However, you see them and you feel that they are worthy of protection.

This is like a dream come true and I am very happy to work with these people and everyone that is involved.

Culled from the Guardian

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Coalition of civil Societies calls for Sack Of SP Mohammed Musa for gross Misconduct




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Coalition of civil Societies calls for Sack Of SP Mohammed Musa for gross Misconduct

Following several allegations of gross misconduct and breaches capable of undermining discipline and good faith amongst officers and men of the Nigeria Police, a coalition of civil societies, Nigeria Initiative For Security, NIFS, has called for sack of Mohammed Musa, a Superintendent of Police.

The coalition in a statement in Abuja, Monday, accused Musa, formerly of SPU Base 2, Lagos State, but now serving in Yobe state of undermining the police hierarchy and leaking information to the media.
In the statement signed by Odey Ochaba and Mallam Isah Usman, they noted that Musa had been queried by the police authorities via petition No. AP.105697/FS/FHQ/6 bordering on; Disobedience to Constituted Authority; Absence from Duty; Divided Loyalty; Refusal to Accept Posting; Discourteous Behaviour to the Public and, Conduct Unbecoming of a Public Officer.
“It is regrettable to note that rather than respond and await the review of his gross misconduct, SP Mohammed Musa, has continued to use his friends in the media with the intent to undermine and disrespect not just the Office of the Inspector General of Police, but the Nigeria Police Force as the primary security architecture in the country,” part of the statement reads.
The duo further noted that “it is unfortunate that an officer, who was once just a driver at the Police Service Commission will ignore and refuse to appear before the Force Disciplinary Committee, have become a danger not only to himself, but the NPF as a whole.
“Let it be known that it is compulsory for every policeman that has been issued query to appear before the committee as it serves as an avenue to explain and exonerate themselves but because SP Musa believes he is larger than life, he shunned the committee and he couldn’t be reached because he turned off all his phones.
“For the avoidance of doubt, all the DIGs as well as the Force Secretary are members of the committee,” the coalition said.
According to them, to maintain discipline and safeguard others from undertaking the perilous path, the coalition urged for the “immediate sack of SP Mohammed Musa given that his litany of woes are innumerable and such a character known to take advantage of the system should not be allowed to infect others.”

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My becoming Governor is an act of God, so no one could truncate it, says Diri




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My becoming Governor is an act of God, so no one could truncate it, says Diri

Governor Douye Diri of Bayelsa, has indicated that it is only God that made it possible for him to be Governor considering the unusual circumstances that threw him up as the winner of the election.
This was contained in a statement issued by the Chief Press Secretary to the Governor, Mr Daniel Alabrah.
The statement quoted the Governor to have spoken on Sunday when he joined other Christians in his state to offer praises to God for witnessing the first Sunday of 2021 he said people must continue to thank God for everything they own daily.
Diri, who worshipped at St. Peter’s Anglican Church in Sampou, his hometown, told the congregation that he never knew the community would produce a governor, while he was supporting the governorship aspiration of others.
He indicated that when it was time for God’s destined purpose, nobody could stop it.

He said: “Sometimes I wonder that all the time I had been supporting the governorship aspiration of others, I did not know that God had destined me, even before I was born, to be governor. So when your time comes, nobody can stop it.
“If the same God could do this for me, He will do it for you. Just be faithful, have a free mind and He will do it again and again,” he said.
The governor urged Christians to be faithful to God in order to unlock more earthly blessings, just as he called on the people of the state to always give thanks and pay less attention to their worries.
He commended the people of Bayelsa for taking out time across the state to thank God today.
“What can you offer to God other than to say ‘thank you’ to Him?

“He has the gold and silver. He also has the power, as power comes only from Him.

“I, therefore, join the rest of the people of Bayelsa to say thank you Lord for keeping us to see this first Sunday of 2021,” Diri said.

He also urged the citizens to realise that they were special in the sight of God, adding that He always manifested Himself in the affairs of the state, whenever the agents of evil tried to plunge it into darkness.

“For us in Bayelsa, we are a special people, and until we realise that we are special, we will continue to give room for darkness,” he said.

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Ex Buhari’s ADC accuses him of being remotely controlled by nephew




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Ex Buhari’s ADC accuses him of being remote-controlled by nephew

In recent times, President Muhammadu Buhari has come under severe critisms from many sections of the country for ineptitude to govern the country, this time around his former ADC during his military regime Mustapa Jokolo has indicated that he is being remotely controlled by his nephew, Mamman Daura.
The former emir of Gwandu in a piece said the President Buhari cannot wriggle himself out of the woes the nation was going through since he has allowed himself to be criticised on every side.
He alleged that Buhari’s nephew, Mamman Daura was manipulating him, saying that the best thing is for Mamman Daura to be moved from the villa to Kaduna so that the President could have a breathing space to do what is right and just.
He said there is something fundamentally wrong for President Buhari to be ignoring wise counsel without.

He advised Buhari to dissolve his cabinet for a rejig, even as he listed those he should give attention, once they advise him.

“As for President Muhammadu Buhari, though I personally believe he is under spell and total control of the cabal led by his nephew, Malam Mamman Daura, he cannot exonerate himself from the atrocities happening in Nigeria.

“Everyone, high and low have offered wise counsel which he is turning deaf ears to. He will not only answer to the Nigerians but worse, he will answer to the divine and Supreme Judge, Almighty Allah SWT here on earth and the hereafter.

“The way he came in supported by majority of Nigerians no other leader in the past had it (17 out of 19 States in the North; 5 out of 6 States in the South West; Edo State in the South South and Imo State in the South East).

“He should kindly listen to the advices given him by such notables like Dr Junaidu Muhammad, Hajiya Najaatu Muhammad, Major General Ishola Williams, Col Abubakar Dangiwa Umar, Simeon Kolawole, Chief Duro Onabule, Dr Ahmad Gummi (when he is not too personal ) Sheik Dahiru Bauchi, Sheik Sherif Saleh, Engineer Daura, Alhaji Tijjani Zangon Daura, Sheik Yahaya Jingir and scores of others too numerous to mention.

“He should send Mamman Daura back to Kaduna, drop two thirds of his ministers, change his Security Chiefs (except DG DSS), change his Personal Staff. All Boards of Parastatals that need change should be changed.

Jokolo also lampooned former President Olusegun Obasanjo and the former Chief of Defence Staff, Theophilus Yakubu Danjuma, describing the elder statemen as “rotten eggs”, for consistently attacking the present administration.

“Recently, President Obasanjo has been relentless in his personal attacks on President Buhari even predicting that Nigeria will soon go to war.

“Recall that in 1983 these same Generals denigrated President Shagari which resulted in the 1983 Coup de tat. We have not forgotten their atrocities in Odi and Zaki Biam. Now they have Bishop Mathiew Kukah and Dr Ahmad Gummi in their sustained call to arms preaching against President Buhari.

“We will not expose their plans and treacherous ploys if they had been honourable, sincere and patriotic. But the whole plots are only self serving and not in the interest of Nigeria!

“Which rulers committed more atrocities in the history of Nigeria like the duo of Olusegun Obasanjo and T.Y Danjuma? We are tired of these rotten eggs continuously messing us up.

“While making new appointments, he should reflect Federal Character as enshrined in the Constitution of Nigeria.

“He should also initiate a Constitutional Review to reduce the preponderance of the National Assembly Members to one Senator per State and one Representative per Senatorial District.

“He should also ensure the compliance of his Executive Order whereby the State Governors should hands off Local Government and State Judiciary Funds. No State Governor should leave his State except on very dire circumstances.

“All State Governors’ Lodges must be sold & funds returned to the State Treasury. Abolish State INEC to allow people choose their representatives without the control of the Governors.

“Monitor the Judiciary and Lawyers at all levels closely and get rid of the bad eggs. Encourage InterFaith Relationship by strengthening NIREC.

“Establish a National Traditonal Rulers Council with State Council of Chiefs Chairmen as members.

“Also have a Commission to discipline the Traditional Rulers like the National Judicial Council is rather than the State Governors . Establish Zonal Presidential Liaison Offices to monitor the Federal and State Activities, to avoid embarrassments like the State Governors hoarding Palliatives, unknown to the Federal Government.

“There should also be Committees at Federal, State and Local Governments Levels charged with moral discipline and prayers for Almighty God’s Salvation and Divine Intervention. May Almighty God defend, protect, guide Nigeria and Nigerians, amen.”

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